As Donald Trump gazed upon a huge map of the Arctic Ocean with a giant marker in his hand, he circled Greenland and made a bold announcement: “It’s green, it’s land, and frankly, nobody’s using it correctly.”And so began the biggest real estate play ever.
In one of the documents that came out of the White House, it was revealed that Trump offered an unexpectedly simple deal. His offer consisted of purchasing Greenland from the Danes for three casino chips, $3 billion, and lifetime breakfasts at the Mar-a-Lago resort. The offer was seen by Trump as a favor
Danish government officials found this proposal rather offensive.
The government of Greenland considered the proposal an insult. They have never considered themselves property that could be sold on the site called Zillow.
However, Trump did not care about the negative reactions. Instead, he embarked on “Operation Frosted Freedom,” where he proposed renaming Greenland as Trumpland and naming the sea surrounding Greenland as “Trump’s Sea.” Additionally, he suggested building a 300-foot-tall golden statue visible at a distance of 300 feet.
Moreover, the proposal entailed replacing dogs with more “American animals.” The advisers were unable to explain what that meant, but there were early discussions about using bald eagles. However, it was dropped after the focus group participants questioned how these eagles would haul the sled.
Cable news went wild reporting the story, however. Supporters of the plan said that buying Greenland was crucial from the geopolitical perspective due to rare earth minerals and Arctic sea routes in it. Trump’s opponents said that the president was playing geopolitics like Monopoly. In Ohio, an exasperated citizen on the street commented: “I thought Greenland didn’t belong to anybody else. It borders Alaska, doesn’t it?”
On the other hand, supporters of Trump’s initiative believed that the deal would create jobs for thousands of people who would go to Greenland and get employed in ice hotels, glacier tourism, and “snow patriotism” of some sort. The slogan for the campaign came up pretty fast: “MAKE ICE GREAT AGAIN.”
The problem worsened when Trump inquired about the deal involving Puerto Rico and “additional money considerations.”
