Deciding your future: How change is essential to self

Being young has always been a time of exploration and finding your place in the world. However, in these unprecedented times, we are facing many unique challenges that make growing up an increasingly stressful and uncertain process.

As a senior in high school, I am often overwhelmed with the weight of deciding my future. Every conversation with an adult begins with the question “So, what is your plan next year?” This simple question turns into a declaration of Who You Are. Each day, my future creeps closer, yet I find myself sitting with questions that I’ve had since childhood. Overwhelmed with doubt, I am reminded of the words of poet Rainer Maria Rilke:

“You are so young, so much before all beginning. Have patience with everything unresolved in your heart, and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” 

Not-knowing is typically seen as a sign of weakness to others. Our egocentric, black and white thinking perpetuates the myth that we know all there is to know. We are so focused on finding the solution that we cut ourselves off from the possibility of more. What if instead of focusing on having all the answers, we opened ourselves up to the mysteries and unanswerable questions?

The act of admitting uncertainty fosters an atmosphere of trust, where people can feel safe to drop the performance of being 100% certain of everything. When we allow ourselves to sit with questions instead of rushing to a conclusion, we invite deeper truths into being. Cultivating values of slow, intentional living gives more space to breathe.

In times of uncertainty and transition, it is important to emphasize that life is a process of constant experimentation. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes! You cannot find out what you are until you discover what you are not. Have the bravery to let yourself walk a new path in life. Life is not the linear model that we are often told it should be.

“The path isn’t a straight line, it’s a spiral. You continually come back to things you thought you understood and see deeper truths.” – Barry H. Gillespie

Recently, I found a journal that my parents kept for me when I was a baby. It was filled with notes on my interests and temperament from the ages of 0 to 4. As I was reading, I was shocked by the repeating patterns in my life.

There were so many threads that connected back to my life. My fascination with music, water, the moon, and animals is all aspects of my being that were recognizable in me at just a few months old. Strong feelings of empathy and caring for the well-being of others were notable even in my burgeoning youth.

When choosing how to direct your life, look back to who you were before the world told you who to be. These intuitive instincts can be revealing of one’s true inner character and purpose in life. Life is a process of remembering and re-creating who you are.

When making big life decisions, remember to take a step back and breathe. Yes, these are essential moments in deciding what you will become, but they won’t define your entire future. You will make wrong choices, and these will be right too. By discovering how to move forward, you pave your future.

“No matter which road you take, it will be both glorious and unbearable. Every road is lonely. Every road, holy. The only error is not walking forth” – Joy Sullivian