Being a person of color in a predominantly white school is a struggle. We deal with a lot of microaggressions, such as racial slurs, insensitive comparisons, or assumptions about cultural stereotypes.
For one of my experiences, I was in math class when one of my supposedly “close friends” typed the N-word with the hard R out on a calculator. They proceeded to hand me the calculator, laughing, thinking it was a funny joke. I felt uncomfortable and very disrespected in this situation. I didn’t think my white friend would do something so hurtful.
School is a second home for a lot of people. It’s a place where students can go to escape from family or other situations. We, as a community, want to feel safe, welcomed, and respected at school. Whether it’s a group with your friends, who say things as jokes in a private setting, or if it’s our principal in a public setting.
During a football game, our principal had a conflict with another student from McKinleyville High. He said the N-word in a sentence towards her. Shortly following, she repeated it when reporting the incident to another administration member.
This created a lot of anger, disappointment, and confusion within the Black community. How is it that a person with the highest authority at our school, Kristin Ferderber, would do something so hurtful to our community?
This isn’t something that should be disregarded. The Black students at Arcata High are a minority group, and situations like this make us feel like we don’t belong here.
“She said it mindlessly,” Arcata Black Student Union (BSU) President Aliyah Aaron said.
I’m not okay with this. From a young age, people are taught to “think before you speak,” and in that moment, she needed to stop and think before she said anything.
I understand that it was a stressful situation, and Ferderber felt a lot of adrenaline. Everyone is held to a standard; Ferderber, with the highest expectations as the principal, needs to live up to those expectations.
Later the next week, Ferderber sent out an AI apology. She acted immaturely in a moment where an entire community was vulnerable. Students needed her to do the right thing. Instead, she dug herself deeper, thinking an AI apology would help her position.
On October 17th, I, along with many students, participated in a walkout to show that we were against her actions.
A week after the walkout, Ferdeber attended a Black Student Union meeting. She waited to start talking until everyone who was going to attend the meeting was there.
“I’m not here to defend my actions. I’m here to hear how my actions impacted you and the community,” Ferderber said.
We asked her a lot of questions, expressed how hurt we are, and how this has affected us as a Black student community. We are hurt and embarrassed that a slur came out of our principal’s mouth in a public setting.
I’m grateful she came to a meeting with the bravery to own up to her actions and apologize for the hurt she has put upon our school community.
It’s not uncommon for us to hear the N-word around campus, as it’s become so normalized. People freaked out when our principal said it, but the same reaction isn’t warranted when a non-Black student says it. Most of the time, they don’t get consequences or anything; the double standards many people have are absurd.
The N-word always brings a lot of negative emotions. It’s hurtful to hear from someone who we are expected to give the highest amount of respect to, when she, in that moment, had zero respect for us.
Some people still haven’t forgiven her, and some might never choose to forgive her. Any feelings felt or expressed are 100% relevant and should not be discriminated against at all. I’m not going to forget the pain she caused within our community.
If you’ve lost it, respect is something you need to earn back. Ferderber has lost a lot of respect from me. She needs to gain this trust and respect back. I’m not saying it will be hard, but I’m definitely not saying it will be easy. Other students are processing it in their own way.
“My emotions are on and off because I really believe people can change. I really just forgive her. I’m thankful that she did [apologize] to us,” Dameer Kowtko Elliott, a freshman who is a member of BSU, said.
Our school is supposed to be united. This situation shows how much we are actually divided. Take into consideration your actions and what you say, because the words that you think are small or wouldn’t be an issue could be taken the wrong way. Be considerate with your thoughts. Words hurt.
“Arcata High is a family, even though we are different colors and we come from different backgrounds,” Dameer said.
Black Student Union wants to strengthen our community by supporting each other with kindness and respect. Being together when we are the most vulnerable is how we can make our community grow. Right now, it is more important than ever for us to be a community and show that we are together. It’s time to end our division.
