The Pepperbox

The Student News Site of Arcata High School

The Pepperbox

The Pepperbox

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Finals week disrupted by tart massacre

“It made me feel scared that it could happen to me, or any other student on this campus.”
Crumbled Pop-Tarts on boys locker room floor.
Anthony Vasek
Crumbled Pop-Tarts on boy’s locker room floor.
Murdered Pop-Tarts in locker 75.

On Tuesday, December 19th, boys in fourth period P.E. entered the locker room to dress down, as they normally do before class. However this time things were different, and they stumbled upon the mutilated remains of what is now being dubbed Arcata High’s first ever “Pop-Tart massacre.”

The crime scene consisted of both frosted fudge (a good flavor) and frosted strawberry (a bad flavor) smeared inside and out of locker 75, which sits two rows down from the front entrance. Chunks lay in pieces, limp and lifeless on the floor. One fudge Pop-Tart was even kept in its original packaging and punctured straight through the center, left to crumble to death all alone.

One fudge Pop-Tart punctured through the heart, its friend hanging nearby.

Senior Eli Haggler-Hernandez was the first to make it on the scene. He alerted his friends in the small gym, and soon a crowd had gathered to witness the carnage.

“It made me feel scared that it could happen to me, or any other student on this campus,” Haggler-Hernandez said.

Two boys inspecting the Pop-Tart massacre.

Through my investigations, it appeared as if some mysterious perpetrator had accumulated more than 20 school-provided Pop-Tarts over multiple weeks for the stunt. At the very least, one thing was clear; it was far from a crime of passion and no political messaging was left behind.

In stores, a pack of 12 whole grain Pop-Tarts costs a little over four dollars. This student, apart from wasting thousands of calories, cost California taxpayers over eight dollars in Pop-Tarts for the stunt. 

Teachers soon ushered the witnesses back to class and the doors of the locker room were shut off for the remainder of the day as clean-up arrived. But nothing could make the boys forget, and several dissenting opinions began to arise around the massacre.

“It made me happy because Pop-Tarts are stupid,” said Zaden Medea, another senior who witnessed the scene. “I don’t like Pop-Tarts. It was deserved.”

Whether deserved or not, we can all hope such tragedies never befall AHS (and California taxpayers) ever again.

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About the Contributor
Anthony Vasek, Managing Editor
Anthony Vasek has been a reporter for the Pepperbox, a student-run publication with nearly a century of history, since 2022. This year he is excited to use his knowledge to take on an editorial role. His coverage revolves mostly around sensitive topics, such as mental health and drug use. He also does a great deal of graphic design, leading the class in InDesign during each layout session. Two articles of his have won both first and second place, respectively, in the Feature category of the Jackie Awards. Personally, he has a strong belief towards the supremacy of felines and fish.
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