A statistic from a study done by the Pew Research Center shows that 47 percent of Americans think that dating now is harder than it was 10 years ago.
“I think dating has changed because of social media and technology. In the past, when there wasn’t a phone, you had to go up to someone and ask them on a date,” Junior Lootah Hall said.
Things can get extra confusing when we view each other through a screen.
“There’s a huge difference between talking online and hanging out or going on dates. In person, you can read facial expressions, body language, and tone. Online, it’s just very ambiguous,” Hall said.
In the past, people could only communicate face-to-face, over the phone, or by writing letters.
Alyssa Kell recalls when such modes of communication were popular.
“We would just write them love notes, maybe write some poetry, write something about what you liked about the last time you hung out. Then, when you saw them, you would trade notes,” Kell said.
Mayala Vinluan, a freshman at Harbor High in Santa Cruz said, “I think when our parents were dating it was a lot slower, more gentlemanly and proper. Now it’s just, ‘Oh, I think she’s hot.’ It loses its romantic aspect.”
It can sometimes be hard to tell if you’re the only person someone is talking to. Talking to multiple people has become very normalized.
In previous generations, it was much more work, you had to meet organically by hanging out in the same groups, having mutual friends, or going to events.
“When you [went] out, you used to talk more to people you didn’t know. Now, I’ll go out to a show, and [people will] be very clustered and there’s not as much engagement as there used to be to meet people,” Shannon Kresge said.
Now, you can just slide into anybody’s DMs, or jump onto a myriad of different dating apps. Kresge gave a fresh perspective on dating in the modern world as an adult, explaining her frustration with the scene on dating apps.
“It’s not pleasant. My last two blind dates from Tinder, I walked out on within 20 minutes,” Kresge said.
Sadly, Hall thinks that dating will become more and more online, causing the overall quality of relationships to decline. For others, there’s hope. Vinluan believes it can get better as long as there are still nice people out there. Kell also thinks that we are just figuring everything out at the moment and the dating scene will look up in the future.
Everyone craves connection, and the basics have stayed similar, but the way we navigate our relationships has shifted drastically in recent years. Stay safe out there everybody.
