Has your short friend or family member ever gone missing during the holidays? The AHS Pepperbox team might’ve discovered why. An anonymous member of Santa’s naughty list has leaked a top-secret list of his hidden human elves. This letter reveals the identities of those secretly aiding in the holiday magic. The Pepperbox got access to this list to learn more about what goes on at the North Pole during Christmas.
“Vertically Challenged people make the perfect helpers,” Santa said. “They’re similar heights to the rest of my elves, so I don’t have to make renovations. Getting materials up here to the North Pole is expensive!”
The vast majority of the little but mighty people that Santa chooses like keeping their identities a secret. However, a select few are very proud of their duty as a toy maker and agreed to be interviewed.
Getting to the North Pole is a pretty advanced process. “We get to the North Pole by teleporting through the 4th dimension,” John Adams said. “It feels like you’re getting squished in from all sides. It’s so painful you can see everything that’s come before you. Once you get there and walk inside it’s like a Costco almost. Very large, and lots of space with lots of stuff is happening all at once.”
“One of the jobs is Santa’s personal helper which I am, the other one is just making toys,” Gaby Cavinta said.
Most people would think it’s a blast working for Santa, being able to miss school, getting to make toys for hundreds of millions of little kids all across the planet, and spending time with Santa. Unfortunately, this may not be the case.
“Santa hates us,” Sebastian Amaro said. “If we don’t meet our quota for making presents he beats us!”
Once it’s all said and done, all the helpers, humans or not, celebrate together. “We drink a lot of eggnog and go reindeer tipping,” Adams said. “Imagine how Mater and Lightning McQueen go tractor tipping, it’s like that.”
“Being able to be a part of Christmas is one of the best parts of being short,” an elf who wished to stay anonymous said. “And no! We aren’t able to take special requests for presents.”
