AI generated image displaying self care taken to the extreme.
A new study that surprised absolutely no one, researchers have confirmed that nearly everyone is now using “self-care” as a socially acceptable way to flake out on plans they never wanted to agree to in the first place. The phrase, once reserved for bubble baths and journaling, has now become the universal “get out of social obligations free” card.
“I used to say I had a migraine,” confessed 17-year-old Klara. “But now I just text ‘taking a self-care night ’ and everyone nods like I’m some sort of emotional wreck.” When asked what her self-care involves, Klara admitted, “Mostly eating Hot Cheetos in bed and watching TikToks of other people being productive.” Experts say the term “self-care” has evolved from a tool of healing to an umbrella phrase covering everything from binge-watching reality TV to ghosting your group chat with friends you’ve had since elementary.
With this excuse used, it has even deepened the effects of how people want to spend their most special nights. “I cancelled my own birthday dinner,” said Taylor Worrell. “I needed space from myself.” Social scientists predict the next phase will involve preemptively cancelling future events weeks in advance under the assumption that future-you will also be “emotionally unavailable.” When asked for comment, most people replied, “Sorry, I can’t talk right now. I’m prioritizing my inner peace.”