It’s Sunday night. JD Vance is kicking back on his beloved couch, watching a movie he has never watched before. He sees James Franco and Seth Rogen on the couch, and he knows it’s going to be a classic. It’s called “The Interview.”
As he watches Franco’s character, Dave Skylark, assassinate Kim Jong Un with a poison strip and a handshake, a deep sense of fear shakes his body. “What if this happens to Donald Trump!?” Vance thinks out loud.
Vance always wanted more for Donald. Even though he is already the president, Vance wanted him to be the king, or to rule the world, or something along those lines.
Vance hops off the couch as a big, bright light bulb forms over his head. “I’ll make Donald the Pope!” He belts out loud, spilling his popcorn everywhere. He knows Trump will appreciate it, as he knows how holy of a man he is.
Vance opens up Expedia and finds the next flight to Rome. His master plan is unfolding as he is set to meet with the Pope on Easter Sunday. In preparation, he meets with his black market poison dealer, Hunter Biden.
On Easter Sunday, Vance meets with the Pope. The time comes when he must shake his hand. Vance is sweating and nervous, but he does it.
The next morning, the Pope is dead.
After the obvious murder that Vance had just committed, he was taken into custody by Italian law enforcement. He passed away from heartbreak in his jail cell due to being away from Donald Trump.
“James was a great, courageous man,” Trump said at Vance’s funeral. “Maybe the greatest and the most courageous. I walked into this room and said, ‘Wow, look at that beautiful dead man.’”
Soon after, Trump collapsed and died due to a heart attack.
Speaker of the House Mike Johnson has since become the new President. “The Republican party does not know what to do without Trump. Our whole identity has been built around him. So to make things easier, I am legally changing my name to Donald J. Trump… the 2nd,” Trump II said in a statement at the White House.