Nyrie Broderick/PEPPERBOX
Gym bro embracing new diet.
Gym bro diet culture is all about pushing extremes; these thinly masked eating disorders have reached an all-time high with the newest fad: The Dawg Diet. Characterized by eating kibble from a dog bowl, this diet aims to feed and nurture the “dawg” inside of them, while also turning them into the alpha they were always meant to be.
“Once I saw the protein content of one serving, I was hooked,” one bro said. A big component of gym bro diets is the need for high-protein, low-carb meals, commonly achieved by eating boiled chicken breast and unseasoned ground beef.
But thanks to the great depression, all kibble is safe for human consumption, and is the perfect low-carb (sometimes even no-carb!) high-protein food for these bros.
Many bros struggle with becoming a true alpha male. Despite their best efforts, these dawgs are stuck as weak beta. The diet focuses on growing the “inner dawg” and leveling it up to alpha status. A study done by The Gym Bros of America (GBA) found that consuming kibble unlocks a hidden biological hormone, “dawgonin,” which has been found to help evolve the bros’ inner beta into a big, strong alpha. This hormone has very similar growth levels to anabolic steroids. The main difference between the two is that “dawgonin” only has internal effects, growing that dawg, while anabolic steroids affect both external and internal growth.
“Before the dawg diet, I was weak. My inner dawg was making me a beta male,” a second bro said, “Ever since I’ve started on kibble, I can feel my alpha growing.”