A performance nobody asked for

You’re in the streets of a random city, and an odd-looking male approaches. He’s fitted up in a cropped button-up and baggy jeans. He’s got an iced matcha latte in hand, wired earbuds in, and most importantly, a Labubu. This is a performative male in his natural habitat. If you see him, run!

The concept of “Performative Males” originated from TikTok trends in 2025, used to describe men who attempt to gain female attention through popular and recent content they seem to like. This archetype of a male usually consists of thrifted attire, wired headphones, poetry/feminist literature, lattes, and listening to popular female artists such as Clairo. 

Six Rivers senior, Tatum Dick, describes them as such. “Clearly, they’re out here hitting up the thrift store. You will be catching them getting a little matcha from a niche cafe,” Dick said. These men seem to follow a stereotype that is softer and more feminine, so they can appear easy to approach. 

Behind all the trends and the jokes, performative males, at their core, search for female validation. The whole act of getting in touch with this feminine side of themselves is to lure girls in for their own personal gain. Arcata High junior Sage Ward provided some insight into these types of males. 

“They… pretend that they have certain morals. Like, they believe in feminism and stuff, they pretend to like your music,” Ward said. 

Performative males often change their “persona” in many different ways, not just through appearance. They will mimic the person of interest’s politics and spirituality to get closer to them.  

“They kind of pretend to agree with your political views,” Ward said. “And then just turn around and go to their friends and are the complete opposite person.”

It is a facade created in order to gain attention.  This common factor in their role stems from a deep-seated need for attention and validation. Unbeknownst to them, the lack of authenticity is what drives the very people they seek approval from away. 

At times, individuals let these “performative” traits hide who they actually are. Changing who they are, through their views or morals, depending on who they’re around, only causes more harm than good. And these actions can lead to more distressing behavior. People can start to lose themselves in the act of performing for others. It can branch off into forms of self-hate or manipulative tactics. 

While the concept of this trend is rooted in underlying insecurities, aren’t all forms of masquerading ultimately performance? Most people can relate to changing little things about themselves to receive attention and/or validation. It is similar to the issue of pick-me girls, or manic pixie dream girls,  those stereotypes stemming from sexist views. People cherry-pick others’ personalities and generalize them.. 

Although there are true performative males, most of the time, people get labeled as one for sharing minor similarities with them.

 “I think that the performative male idea is actually a very reductive and annoying thing put on to people who really aren’t doing things for female attention and are just doing things they like, right?” an anonymous senior said. 

Although it seems harmless to poke fun at this type of person, especially when they do have harmful intentions, it causes issues when it comes to expressing individuality. 

“And I think that when you call any male who just, you know, is himself and does what he wants to do performative, it’s actually a harmful way of letting people not practice their true interests,” anonymous said. 

Individuality is a beautiful thing, and no one should throw their uniqueness away for the attention of another person. People shouldn’t have to perform for the validation of others. The stereotypical idea of a performative male and typecasting those as such targets very personal insecurities.  Your best self is the real you.

“You shouldn’t feel like you have to change a certain part of your personality just to be liked by somebody else, be you, and be loved for who you are. That’s the ideal situation,” anonymous said.