Isabel S. Wedll, Co-Editor In Chief
December 8th, 2020
The chaotic trio is back, again, and with them comes their great banter; specifically, this time surrounding a fantasy trip to Italy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the now-iconic Bromancers (the title deemed by Mr. Moore in an email), let me give a brief explanation of them. Mr. Moore, Mr. Pinkerton, and Mr. Mielke are a part of Arcata High’s social studies department, and last school year B.C. (before coronavirus) I interviewed them about their “odd friendship” that was noticed by all. This first interview was chaotic, hilarious, and quite entertaining and did well with the Arcata High crowd. The second interview was conducted via email as we all huddled in our homes, following Governor Newsoms Shelter-In-Place Order in the spring.
Now for the third installment of this trilogy of articles (I have a feeling that this will become a series until it’s absolutely beat to death), it was conducted over Zoom. Per Mr. Pinkerton’s request, I decided to focus this interview on planning the Bros trip to Italy (after COVID-19, duh).
In order for a marvelous getaway to start, a playlist with tunes to set… an interesting tone would be necessary.
“They have to all be karaoke appropriate. Jeff [Mielke] is a very good karaoke singer,” Pinkerton immediately stated.
“Fantastic, one of the best I’ve ever heard,” Moore responded.
“If you don’t have the crowd singing with you, then you know you’re not very good,” Mielke declared. Country songs, such as “Friends in Good Places” and “Take Me Home, Country Roads”, were popular additions to the playlist from Mielke and Pinkerton. Meanwhile, Moore went with a more Italian trip appropriate “Amore che vieni, amore che vai” giving him a moment to flex his linguistic abilities.
So as the Lads trek around Italy listening to “[West] Virginia, mountain mama,” (sung by John Denver), Moore has a top four list of must-see places. Rome because all roads lead there; Sicily for its beautiful blue Mediterranean waters; Venice before it’s completely underwater due to climate change; Bologna to see the oldest, standing university in the world. Not to mention that Mr. Moore studied there, as he has made clear to many of his students. Pinkerton and Mielke’s own lists are similar to Moore’s, but with an emphasis on food.
“Is there any art in Italy?” Mielke asked.
“Like two paintings. We have this thing called the renAissAnce,” Moore stated with a special emphasis and accent on the word “renaissance”.
The banter and mocking continued, then abruptly stopped as they awaited my third question: would this trip be similar to a traveling/touring show?
“It’d be an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm,” Moore said.
“It would start off with good intentions, people happy, and it would quickly fall apart,” Mielke confirmed.
“It would become like Pulp Fiction where he says ‘Were we just saying something about best intentions’ without death,” Moore replied. Mielke and Moore then went on to further explain that they can not go anywhere without some sort of episode. “The banter is good.”
“It would be dysfunctional. It would be fun but it would be dysfunctional,” Pinkerton described what the trip would be like.
“Putting the fun back in dysfunctional is what we’d been doing,” Moore rebutted.
Italy is certainly known for its exquisite cuisine, and as he had lived there, I asked Mr. Moore where he’d take the trio to eat. He stated that each region is different depending on its terrain, and alcohol would be needed in order to stay sane with the others. Would he take his new travel buddies to a bad restaurant for a few laughs?
“There is little in life I considered to be worse than bad food,” Moore said.
“I definitely wanna try bologna in Bologna,” Mielke responded.
“That’s, that’s really funny,” Moore sarcastically retaliated.
“They have really good Olive Garden there, right?” Pinkerton countered.
“Breadsticks!” Mielke added.
“Yeah sure, waitresses bring you unlimited breadsticks,” Moore responded.
“Because when we’re there we’re family soo,” Mielke remarked.
Sites to see and places to devour delicious dishes are fantastic but how are they supposed to get around with a language barrier? (This is aimed at the two Bros who can’t speak Italian).
“I think the first half is definitely going to be Mr. Moore, but as he runs off frustrated it’s definitely going to be Google Translate,” Mielke said.
“Are you planning to frustrate and drive me away?”
“We just know it’s inevitable,” Pinkerton answered.
“The hand gestures are going to happen to the point where he is the Tasmanian Devil, and he’s just gonna spin off into the abyss,” Mielke explained. This lovely banter continued and we all derailed, as this group often has done during interviews. Moore explained that if they were to do this chaotic trip, he would leave the major parts of the itinerary up to his colleagues, his Bros. They discussed visiting other countries, maybe doing a food tour, or a World War II tour.
“Yeah, this point, being able to travel after being stuck at home since March would be glorious,” Pinkerton said. Honestly, this one statement sums up how a lot of us feel right now. And as painful as it was to discuss travel for these dudes, it was quite a fun discussion to observe. To those reading this, don’t feel down about the lack of travel in our lives; use this as a time to fantasize, argue, and somewhat plan a trip just as the Bromancers did in this interview.