Opinion: Marriage and Kids? No Thank You.

Isabel Wedll, Online Editor

April 16th, 2020

For centuries a woman’s duty was to take care of the household, cook and clean and pop out a kid once in a while because, hey, birth control hadn’t been invented. But as time has progressed, fewer women want to have children or get married. I, in fact, have been surrounded by these women my entire life for they are my mother’s best friends. 

 “[I] don’t have kids because I simply don’t want them,” Amber Lakey, one of my mother’s closest friends said. When growing Lakey described it as “[you] can get married and you have kids. And that was never something that appealed to me at all.” 

But Lakey did eventually get married but not for the reasons one would think of. 

“[I] got married for financial reasons. A hundred percent is for tax purposes and insurance reasons. The government kind of forces you into that,” Lakey said. 

Our discussion shifted to marriage equality, and equal rights. 

“All people should have the right to get married, they just shouldn’t,” Lakey stated. 

Many ladies approached me when I advertised my need for interviews on this topic. Three juniors, Carly Lankarani, Celeste Joyner, and Amelie Stinespring all wanted to discuss this very “controversial” topic. And I must say, a majority of what we discussed is very similar in all cases. These three glorious gals are all told basically the same things when it comes to marriage or children. 

Isabel Wedll/Pepperbox

“Things I’ve been told include, but are not limited to: ‘you’re gonna want them later,’ ‘you’re too young to make that choice,’ ‘but babies are so cute/wonderful!’” Lankarani said. “But thankfully my mom supports me and says ‘you’re a smart girl. the world doesn’t need any more kids.’” 

Joyner also had many similar phrases said to her, but one truly stood out. 

‘“[You’ll] never feel true love until you have kids,”’ Joyner stated. “I have never wanted kids since I was little, and that still hasn’t changed. I want to be the fun aunt.”

Rather than spend their lives changing poopy diapers and dealing with moody teenagers, these gals have decided to focus on themselves. 

“[I] want to travel and do nice things for myself,” Lankarani said.

“I want to spend my life traveling and seeing the world and meeting tons of people. I don’t want the responsibility of another human life,” Joyner said.

Stinespring said that “[the] world isn’t a great place to bring children into and I’d rather not ruin my already weak body.”

“Children are too expensive and what if they just turn out total douchebags because of the way the world is now,” Stinespring added. “There are also too many children without homes or parents so why not adopt.”

Now how can a teenage girl not want to have a large, princess wedding? And if not a big princess wedding, why not a small ceremony at the courthouse?

“Honestly I think marriage is a scam, like who’s bright idea was ‘I love you so much babe, and I’ll show it to you by getting the government involved so it’ll be difficult to leave me,’” Lankarani exclaimed. 

But she doesn’t mean that she despises weddings or people getting married. 

“[People] can do whatever they want, weddings are fun, but honestly I’d only get married if I had to, like if a friend needed a green card or for tax benefits,” she said.

“[Personally] I think bringing the law into your love life is pointless and expensive. If you just want a wedding just have a celebration and call it a wedding,” Stinespring said. “[If] it doesn’t work then it’s not meant to be and go find your soulmate, plus anyway after 8 years you’re legally considered married but without the paperwork and divorces.”

The scrutiny these women described is very similar to when they say they do not want children or marriage.

“You’re too young!”

“You haven’t met the right person yet.”

“You’ll change your mind when you’re older.”

And these are just a few of the statements. Either way, I think we can learn many things that can be concluded from these interviews. Please do not judge a person based on their choice, and or opinions on marriage and children. Let’s all just respect each other and go about our lives because either way we all have to live with each other on this planet.