This Saturday at the local bike race Bogstomp, which is put on by Revolution Bicycle and Redwood Coast Mountain Bike Association there will be free mullets for anyone who is ready to go faster.

The mullet cutters are Alicia Abrego and Teri Ana, two professional stylists. The race will be held out Elk River road and if you get there early you can get a free professionally cut mullet. 

As someone with a mullet, I can guarantee this decision will be the best of your life. Since I made this choice, my life has become exponentially better.